These 2's have similarities but mostly differences. I wonder what my response would be in either case...
One woman is near 50 with 2 grown children and 1 grandchild (with a 2nd on the way). The other is barely 21 with a young son. Both are diagnosed with very aggressive cancers although one is known with lots of literature and a treatment plan while the other is fairly new with few cases in the medical literature. Both have been through extensive and extreme treatments with side effects most of us would find intolerable.
Their responses both emotionally and spiritually are what really separate them. One is angry and accepts help from family and friends because she has been too weak to do much for herself. Her life over the last few years has been marked by rebellion, accusations and selfishness. The other has continued to love and care for her family (when physically capable), expressing gratitude to those who have helped in tangible ways; all the while exhibiting a faith and trust in God's love and power that many would say is beyond reason. She has found joy in God's creation and sustenance in God's word. When she has bad days she "crawls into her Father's lap" where she is loved and comforted.
Many, many prayers have been prayed for these two ladies. One is grateful and knows that those prayers are making a difference. The other is not so sure that prayer isn't just a waste of time even though we who believe in prayer have seen results of our prayers.
When testing comes what will be my response? or yours?
Just seems right to start the year with a post. Even at my age, a new year can be a beginning even when I feel stuck.
Am I stuck or have I just been content to remain where I am? Is change just for the young or is it possible to take a whole new direction with my life? (How many questions could I put in this post? Many more than might be expected, so I won't keep going.)
Sometimes I think I want something that is all about me but when I get a taste of that, it is unfulfilling. So my new year's resolution revolves around bettering myself spiritually, which puts the emphasis squarely on God who is the beginning and the end of all things.
So many thoughts and so many emotions lately that I haven't known what (if anything) should go here.
Good things: I've spent time with all my children recently. I've discovered that I may be unique in the mother-in-law area because several of my friends have talked of feeling like their sons' wives weren't quite good enough for them. I however, think my daughter-in-law is a wonderful partner for my son. My daughter has moved outside her comfort zone lately and has enjoyed the experience.
More good things: The ladies I know at church are accepting and loving regardless of my short comings. They have are praying for me and those I love. What a joy to have found a group of women that are supportive, loving and non-judgmental.
Not-so-good things: On going feeling of not knowing how to handle a painful situation nor what to advise those in the same situation.
Questionable things: Work and the new surroundings in which I find myself. I do have a window!! Temperature is warm. Punching a clock located in another building is annoying and somewhat demeaning. Don't know what I think about all the people I now have to see and deal with every day.
Random things: I grew up in a family that didn't speak their emotions and then married a man the same way. I do not want to turn into a person that others think is cold, impersonal or emotionally detached.
Whenever I've heard the phrase "free will" it was always associated with choosing or not choosing to have a relationship with Jesus. However, in this little book the author talks about free will in a couple of ways that make complete sense to me.
We use free will when we choose what thoughts we will continue to think. These thoughts then affect our body's chemistry and can be either toxic or not. So the next time a toxic thought or emotion keeps coming back up I know that I have chosen to hang on to that thought or emotion. In fact, in light of recent events I realize that even though I forgave I have been hanging on to some toxic thoughts making myself feel like a martyr. I am making a free will choice to let go of these toxic emotions and begin de-toxing my brain.
In the book, Dr Leaf talks about keeping a dream journal, which I have tried in the past but not been very successful. She says we should record not only the dream but the emotions experienced in the dream and interpret them in light of our waking thoughts and emotions. What does this have to do with free will?? Dr Leaf says remembering and recording our dreams is an act of free will.---Just tell yourself that you will remember and then record the dreams as quickly as possible upon waking.
Doesn't this turn on the light to the multitude of thoughts, emotions and decisions that are determined by free will? If I choose (with my free will) to have God control my thoughts and emotions won't I experience more love and be able to forgive more readily?
PS--Isn't interesting how God brings people, ideas or things into our life just at the time they will strike the most resounding chord?
